Yoga reflection When I first decided to sign up for a yoga class, my initial thoughts were, “Oh it’s only a Yoga and it sounds like a fun and easy class to take. It can’t be too hard.” After the first couple of classes, my opinion completely changed. I was no longer feeling carefree about the class but rather very much into it. it began to get more and more difficult for me as time progressed but that is exactly what I loved about it. I began to slowly pay more attention to the Yamas and the Niyamas. I started to realize how significantly my life could change if I just open myself up to these Yamas and just let my heart do the following. Soon after I did that, I began noticing how the skills on the yoga mat and the Yamas and Niyamas are affecting me outside of the classroom and off the mat.
There are only a few Yamas that I connected to on a very personal level and that play into my life and my lifestyle. From these Yamas, I am beginning to learn more and more about myself each day and I love it. They affect my mind, spirit, emotions, and essentially my entire being. The first and most important Niyama for me is Santosha. The word Santosha means contentment. I feel very connected to Santosha because it establishes a sense of clarity and meaning for me. When I first heard about Santosha, I was not only intrigued but also surprised with how I could relate to it. The example used with the old man and his farm is a great way of looking at it. No matter how good or bad things were in the farmer’s life, he was completely content with whatever came his way.
As I heard that story, I began to think about my own life. This is when the light bulb in my head started to go off and it happened more frequently day after day. The past year in my life has been a difficult one for me. I’ve had some good times and many bad ones. I spent a lot of time focusing on myself and finding out what exactly made me happy. When something good happened in my life, I was filled with joy and couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. However, when things got tough and weren’t going my way, I felt as if my entire world was going to collapse. I did not know what to do with myself. I immediately began to look for ways to fix the wrong done in my life and make it right just so I could be happy again. I could not stand the thought of being unhappy. It scared me to death. The number one fear in my life that I used to hold before I discovered Santosha was loneliness. I have no sense of independence and no sense of happiness at that. I felt as if I needed to have someone else in my life in order to be happy. It was my number one goal to happiness, find a companion and never let go. So this is what I attempted to do many times and every single time, I failed. After each failed relationship, I blamed myself as being the cause of it. At this point, I did not think that I could ever find happiness and contentment without being in a relationship with someone who I can cling on to.
Santosha saved me, and is still saving me to this day. I am okay with the way my life is laid out for me right now. I am happy with what is and no longer dwell on what could have been or what I want it to be. I am happy despite the fact that don’t have everything I want in life; despite the fact that I am not in the loving relationship I want to be in. I am currently seeking joy and serenity in life just from the simple little things that stem from it. I am taking it for what it is and nothing more. When I feel that feeling slipping away, I remind myself of the farmer, and his contentment. No matter what hardships he went through, he always found contentment in life. This doesn’t mean that he didn’t care about what was going on in his life. It just means that if he went on that emotional roller coaster that takes a person up and down in life, he would never find true contentment and serenity. He would never understand the true meaning behind Santosha.
I cannot say that I completely and utterly understand Santosha to its fullest extent, but I can say that I am learning about it more and more as time goes on. I apply it to my everyday life and try to look at things from a more positive point of view. I do not want to be emotionally swayed by the good and bad events in my life. Nor do I want to be connected to them so deeply. Of course I’m going to care, but will I let it affect me to such a negative degree as it did before? Never. Through Santosha, I learned that the first and foremost thing I need to be content with before anything else is myself. The rest will follow. I don’t need a significant other in my life to be happy. I don’t need to disregard all the negative events that go on in my life. I also don’t need to get completely joyful when something good happens. I just need to learn to be content. Content with what I have and content with whatever will come my way, be it good or bad.
Once I detach myself from all of the needs and wants in my life, true Santosha will take place. If every person clings on to everything they have in life, the outcome can be tragic. What will happen when you lose something you’ve held onto for so long? What will happen when you want something so bad but can’t get it? If you follow Santosha, you could be completely content in both situations. Santosha is described to be “the root of happiness.” With this thought in mind, I am satisfied with myself and no longer depend on other things in life to make me happy. I now feel less stressed about many things going on in my life, both good and bad. My attitude is has now changed and I no longer doubt my happiness or myself. When a change occurs in my life, if its good, I don’t let it pull towards the moon with glee, and if its bad, I don’t let it pull me down with it.
Along with Santosha, I also find it very important to myself to follow Isvara Pranidhana. This Yama means to surrender to life force. I use this Yama along with Santosha because I feel that the two go hand in hand. If I am holding onto something in life and clinging onto it for dear life, then no good will come of it. If I’m curious about what it would feel like to just completely let go, that is when I surrender to life force. That is when the weight on my shoulders will no longer feel as heavy. I am no longer letting things control myself. I no longer try to work around anything to make my life better. I just simply let go and let a superior force, be it God or another divine force, lead the way. I am of Christian Orthodox but was never very religious. That does not mean that I do not believe in God and a higher power. I believe that if I let go of everything I am trying to control in life, the rest will fall into place.
Once I let go of this force that it pulling me in all sorts of directions, I invite it another force, the force of life and the force of God. This force is the most powerful. I believe that I will be spending my entire life practicing Isvara Pranidhana. I think that for me it will take a life to master such an incredible skill. I am completely content with that because I know that a force like this takes more than just a month, or a year to connect to and truly let into your life. As long as I am consumed in what I need in life and what I want from it, I will not see the bigger picture that is staring me in the face. This picture is of a greater force in my life that is dying to take over and right what has been wronged. I am opening up my mind and my life and letting it a light that I dare follow.
I believe that with Santosha and with Isvara Pranidhana, I will be able to not only be content with whatever life throws my way, but also let go of what I need and want in life and let a higher power take over. I started to connect with Santosha immediately. Soon after I began to slowly let go of the personal force that’s been steering my life and let a higher life force take over. By practicing Santosha and Isvara Pranidhana, I will begin to let the other 8 Yamas and Niyamas enter my life and take their place.
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